I don't get it I just got off the phone. He got the letter I sent him. He was going to read it to me because I forgot what all was in it, but I told him not to. Even though he made reference to several different things in the letter, he still made with the sex talk. He still wants to come see me next weekend. Did he not read the entire thing? Did he only read certain bits? Did he only let the things he wanted to hear sink in? What part of "I'm too attached to you" did he not understand? Did he miss the "I should never have had sex with you" part? I remember these bits. I know they were in there, at least once. One of his first references was about me writting that he would probably be better off not talking to me. He didn't agree with that. Said he couldn't do that. I don't understand. Now I'm going to have to explain myself to him all over again and hope it sticks this time. I want to be friends with you, yes, but I can't be fuckbuddies anymore. It's just not working for me. I like you too much at times for that kind of thing. Maybe he just doesn't want to hear that. Maybe he ignores it because he doesn't like that idea. Is this a guy thing? Must be because I'm a girl and I think my stand point is perfectly logical. He's the one that said if the arrangement wasn't working for me, I should let him know. Well, I tried to let him know, now what? I've talked about this with Jeremy and he thinks I was perfectly clear. Jeremy thinks he just doesn't want to deal with his feelings about me and our arrangement so even when I give him an easy out, he doesn't want to take it. Jeremy says that he probably likes to keep me on stand-by. Stupid male shit. I don't know what else to do. posted by Beth 2:58 AM . . . Thursday, June 26, 2003 What the hell? I don't like change. Just when I was getting used to things, they go and change everything around on me. Stupid blogger crap. Anyhoo, the reason for this post in the first place was to share some Mary Prankster with you guys. I love her. She's peachy keen. Anyone who wants to be a doll and buy me her Cds or make copies of them for me may feel more than welcome. hehehehe Tempest My manner is imperious My logic is empirical And I’m bad at being a girlfriend So I’m hoping for a miracle I fear your disappointment When I don’t turn out ethereal Though either way for me I know it means some new material Now don’t go thinkin’ that you’re special Just because you are ’Cause I’m bound to overthink it And I always go too far But if you think this kind of tempest May just be your cup of tea Then I’d like to offer you The heart of me Each attempt to clarify Serves only to confuse And it feels just like a fracture But it looks more like a bruise And my heart can’t bear the weight Of one more empty “I love you” And I’ve strained my eyes to blindness Trying to find a point of view Now don’t go thinkin’ that I’m crazy Just because I am ’Cause I wouldn’t act indifferent If I didn’t give a damn And if you think this kind of tempest May just be your cup of tea Then I’d like to offer you The heart of me Now don’t go thinkin’ that I love you Just because I do ’Cause I’ve never met a certainty I couldn’t misconstrue But if you think this kind of tempest May just be your cup of tea Then I’d like to offer you The heart of me Yes, I’d like to offer you The heart of me ~ Mary Prankster posted by Beth 10:51 PM . . . Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Operator number 9 My friend Wendy made me read her the phone approach I use at work. I told her that a guy came in and told me I have a nice phone voice. She wanted to hear. I went over it with her, then she told me I should be a phone sex operator. I'm getting closer to that goal. Yesterday I accidentally said Asexiates instead of Associates on the phone yesterday. The lady didn't seem to notice. Today, I had a rather bizarre experience. This guy called me at 4:45pm. Told me his friend told him he should call and talk to me. I started in with my approach. Got his name. Joshua (names have not been changed to protect to the disgusting.) At first I thought he had just woken up and was still sleepy. He had that drowsy voice. My thoughts changed as the conversation drew on. There was alot of sighing, and "oh, oh yeah" going on. There were audible grunts, sharp intakes of air, mmmmms and ooooooos. Everytime I said his name, he groaned. I was trying to give him directions and trying not to laugh because when I said, "okay, Joshua, I can squeeze you in at 1pm" he said, "oh yeah, Beth, squeeze me in" and groaned again. Let me clarify that there is nothing remotely sexual about my phone approach. Ewwwww. posted by Beth 7:46 PM . . .
What the hell? I don't like change. Just when I was getting used to things, they go and change everything around on me. Stupid blogger crap. Anyhoo, the reason for this post in the first place was to share some Mary Prankster with you guys. I love her. She's peachy keen. Anyone who wants to be a doll and buy me her Cds or make copies of them for me may feel more than welcome. hehehehe Tempest My manner is imperious My logic is empirical And I’m bad at being a girlfriend So I’m hoping for a miracle I fear your disappointment When I don’t turn out ethereal Though either way for me I know it means some new material Now don’t go thinkin’ that you’re special Just because you are ’Cause I’m bound to overthink it And I always go too far But if you think this kind of tempest May just be your cup of tea Then I’d like to offer you The heart of me Each attempt to clarify Serves only to confuse And it feels just like a fracture But it looks more like a bruise And my heart can’t bear the weight Of one more empty “I love you” And I’ve strained my eyes to blindness Trying to find a point of view Now don’t go thinkin’ that I’m crazy Just because I am ’Cause I wouldn’t act indifferent If I didn’t give a damn And if you think this kind of tempest May just be your cup of tea Then I’d like to offer you The heart of me Now don’t go thinkin’ that I love you Just because I do ’Cause I’ve never met a certainty I couldn’t misconstrue But if you think this kind of tempest May just be your cup of tea Then I’d like to offer you The heart of me Yes, I’d like to offer you The heart of me ~ Mary Prankster posted by Beth 10:51 PM . . . Tuesday, June 24, 2003 Operator number 9 My friend Wendy made me read her the phone approach I use at work. I told her that a guy came in and told me I have a nice phone voice. She wanted to hear. I went over it with her, then she told me I should be a phone sex operator. I'm getting closer to that goal. Yesterday I accidentally said Asexiates instead of Associates on the phone yesterday. The lady didn't seem to notice. Today, I had a rather bizarre experience. This guy called me at 4:45pm. Told me his friend told him he should call and talk to me. I started in with my approach. Got his name. Joshua (names have not been changed to protect to the disgusting.) At first I thought he had just woken up and was still sleepy. He had that drowsy voice. My thoughts changed as the conversation drew on. There was alot of sighing, and "oh, oh yeah" going on. There were audible grunts, sharp intakes of air, mmmmms and ooooooos. Everytime I said his name, he groaned. I was trying to give him directions and trying not to laugh because when I said, "okay, Joshua, I can squeeze you in at 1pm" he said, "oh yeah, Beth, squeeze me in" and groaned again. Let me clarify that there is nothing remotely sexual about my phone approach. Ewwwww. posted by Beth 7:46 PM . . .
Operator number 9 My friend Wendy made me read her the phone approach I use at work. I told her that a guy came in and told me I have a nice phone voice. She wanted to hear. I went over it with her, then she told me I should be a phone sex operator. I'm getting closer to that goal. Yesterday I accidentally said Asexiates instead of Associates on the phone yesterday. The lady didn't seem to notice. Today, I had a rather bizarre experience. This guy called me at 4:45pm. Told me his friend told him he should call and talk to me. I started in with my approach. Got his name. Joshua (names have not been changed to protect to the disgusting.) At first I thought he had just woken up and was still sleepy. He had that drowsy voice. My thoughts changed as the conversation drew on. There was alot of sighing, and "oh, oh yeah" going on. There were audible grunts, sharp intakes of air, mmmmms and ooooooos. Everytime I said his name, he groaned. I was trying to give him directions and trying not to laugh because when I said, "okay, Joshua, I can squeeze you in at 1pm" he said, "oh yeah, Beth, squeeze me in" and groaned again. Let me clarify that there is nothing remotely sexual about my phone approach. Ewwwww. posted by Beth 7:46 PM . . .
