Car 54, where are you? One of my hermit crabs, Hannah, is MIA. Stuart molted on July 4th. He was originally thought to be dead, but it was soon discovered that he was very much alive. Hannah, meanwhile, was her normal energetic self. Climbing around, knocking things over, etc. Then on Sunday, there was a crab shaped lump in the aquarium. Hannah sans shell. Stuart had vacated his little brown shell and had taken up residence in Hannah's blue shell. Now for the $10,000 question: is Hannah dead or is she hiding somewhere. I looked in all the other shells. I don't see her. Stuart is happy and living alone in the blue shell. I was told that if Hannah couldn't find a shell she liked, she would abandon all hope and leave her cramped shell for a miserable and short existence in the open air. I refuse to believe that Hannah is/was so stuck up that she couldn't find an empty shell to her liking. It would be too sad to think she opted for death. I can see her now, little claw thrown across her eyes, yelling "what a world, what a world" before dying shell-less and alone. I was also informed that if Stuart couldn't find a different shell to his liking and he wanted Hannah's shell, that he would fight her and kill her for her shell. This doesn't seem likely tho. Hannah is/was bigger, and Stuart, god love him, is special. I should really make him a pair of little red shoes and a helmt. Yes, Stuart would have ridden the short bus to school. I just don't think that it would have ever crossed his mind that he could kill Hannah and take her shell. She was mean to him tho, walking over him all the time, moving the plastic tree away when he was trying to hide under it. Maybe he was just waiting for his chance. Anyhoo, there has been no sign of Hannah. There is no foul smell tho, and the crab shaped lump hasn't turned black. I was told these two things denoted dead crab. I poked around in the stones today thinking maybe she has gone underground. That's what I would do. Maybe she went on the lamb and had to ditch her shell. Too much weight and so forth. I don't know. I hope I find her, dead or alive, soon. posted by Beth 9:57 PM . . . Monday, July 07, 2003 Maybe something's wrong with you that makes you act the way you do Contrary to popular belief, I am not the bride of Satan. I just bare a striking resemblance to her. I'm not that evil. Really, I'm not. Have I shot a man just to watch him die? No. Have I clawed a man with my talons of terror just to see him bleed? Yes. Have I ever ridiculed a man for having a slightly smaller than average penis? No. Have I told a man to "get up off me, it's just not happening?" Yes. Did I flip out and cuss when an annoying girl who I had been trying to schedule for an interview hung up on me after she failed to show up for the interview? No. Did I call the annoying girl everyday for a straight week at 8:30am and say "Hi this is Beth from JPD & Associates, how are you this morning" in the most cheerful voice you can imagine before loudly slamming down the receiver? Yes. Was I rude to the Mormons who thrust literature at me every morning my sophmore year of college? No. When the Mormons cornered my roommate, gave her a video, and then hounded her with phone calls because she didn't attend their meetings and threatened to charge her for the video, did I answer the phone, tell them that Carly was very happy with her religion, and say "no, I've never been interested in having sex through a hole in a sheet, but how's that working out for you" when they asked if I wanted to know more about Mormonism? Yes. Did I go with my gut feeling and swing at my ex-boyfriend when he asked with a sick, knowing look, "Are you dating anyone?" after he told me about his new girlfriend? No. Did I look at him with a wicked smile and say, "No, I'm just fucking him?" Yes. So, no, I'm not really evil. Have I done worse things? Of course. Am I capable of doing more dreadful things in the future? I hope so. Do I enjoy my hateful side? Damn skippy. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! posted by Beth 11:45 PM . . .
Maybe something's wrong with you that makes you act the way you do Contrary to popular belief, I am not the bride of Satan. I just bare a striking resemblance to her. I'm not that evil. Really, I'm not. Have I shot a man just to watch him die? No. Have I clawed a man with my talons of terror just to see him bleed? Yes. Have I ever ridiculed a man for having a slightly smaller than average penis? No. Have I told a man to "get up off me, it's just not happening?" Yes. Did I flip out and cuss when an annoying girl who I had been trying to schedule for an interview hung up on me after she failed to show up for the interview? No. Did I call the annoying girl everyday for a straight week at 8:30am and say "Hi this is Beth from JPD & Associates, how are you this morning" in the most cheerful voice you can imagine before loudly slamming down the receiver? Yes. Was I rude to the Mormons who thrust literature at me every morning my sophmore year of college? No. When the Mormons cornered my roommate, gave her a video, and then hounded her with phone calls because she didn't attend their meetings and threatened to charge her for the video, did I answer the phone, tell them that Carly was very happy with her religion, and say "no, I've never been interested in having sex through a hole in a sheet, but how's that working out for you" when they asked if I wanted to know more about Mormonism? Yes. Did I go with my gut feeling and swing at my ex-boyfriend when he asked with a sick, knowing look, "Are you dating anyone?" after he told me about his new girlfriend? No. Did I look at him with a wicked smile and say, "No, I'm just fucking him?" Yes. So, no, I'm not really evil. Have I done worse things? Of course. Am I capable of doing more dreadful things in the future? I hope so. Do I enjoy my hateful side? Damn skippy. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! posted by Beth 11:45 PM . . .
