Oh, the foulness Saturday night several people received a pjone message from me which simply said, "I just had the foulest thing in my mouth." Eric actually answered the phone. He had left my house only hours before. Here's what happened: My friend Wendy was sitting on my front porch showing me her photo album. There was a Trustex chocolate flavored condom in the album. As she has no use for condoms at present time, she gave it to me. More accurately, she threw it at me. Now, I don't particularly need flavored condoms. If I was still a whore, I'd be all for it, but I am proud to say that for the past year there has only been one penis in my mouth (and any other orifice for that matter.) If he knows what is good for him, said penis sure as hell better not have been in any other mouth/orifice but mine. Besides the lack of need, I also don't like chocolate. Chocolate is icky so I don't know what possessed me to open the condom up and taste it. I smelled it first. Smelled like artificial, extremely sweet chocolate. I expected as much. I rolled it down over a couple of fingers to get the full effect, ya know. It had a slight brown tint. Then, like the fool I am, I stuck out my tongue and licked it. Oh, the foulness. I pulled of the chocolate condom of death, threw it in the trash and wiped my poor assaulted tongue on my shirt. I picked up the package to throw it away and noticed the brown chocolatey lubricant water pooled in the corners. Ew. So nasty. I washed my hands thoroughly, but I could still smell the chocolate foulness an hour later. When I was in college, my roommate had mint flavored condoms which her boyfriend opposed for obvious reasons. I never tasted those. Wendy also Cola, Strawberry, and Vanilla. I wonder how the Strawberry ones taste.... posted by Beth 3:43 PM . . .
